Regarding online marketplaces

It has come to my attention that some of you bought stuff online & used the gates as your "PO box". And you know what? I get it. Cheaper stuff you won't get at the local shops, not having to physically drag your body there... cool. But I don't exactly appreciate being the frontperson to deal with the couriers. And some of the stuff you guys bought were supposedly banned from the Estate (I thought we all agreed to NOT consume cigarettes anywhere here). Considering their inherent volatility (everytime a delivery comes it's some different guy and/or company; and at different times, sometimes even at nights where we could use the early sleep), I can no longer authorize all personal online marketplace use. From next year, I will assign a trusted person to deal with your online marketplace necessities (and handle the ensuing couriers). All who refuse to comply will be either fined and/or purged; no exceptions. This is open to debate until June 2017.

As for those bringing and/or smuggling cigarettes here, we appreciate your honesty if you were to come out & confess to us. Depending on the situation, we may grant some leniency. Confess or be violently purged, my enforcers ensures the latter.

31 December 2016
Your Lord, B.M.

Addendum 1 - 2 January 2017

Someone (whose name I shall not mention on their request) argued additional support for this ban, citing privacy as the primary reason. They believed the platforms do not necessarily deserve your addresses. In addition, they also argued against adding more stuff towards sensitive devices that already handle your personal data. We agree on them, but do not believe this is concrete enough to finalize this ban.

Addendum 2 - 13 February 2017

(12:30 PM)
A certain order was delivered by a courier, who disregarded our laws & consumed a cigarette on our Estate. I have violently removed them from the estate, and demand the orderer to come forward and take responsibility for introducing additional cigarette smoke into our Estate. Look, I understood tomorrow's fucking love day but WE ALL AGREED TO KEEP TOBACCO AWAY FROM OUR ENVIRONMENT! So please don't make me send my enforcers.

(14:45 PM)
Thanks to [NAME REDACTED] for taking responsibility and taking over laundry duty for the month. I hope your relationship with [NAME REDACTED] goes well.

Addendum 3 - 15 February 2017
On online taxi / food delivery / etc. (Grab, Gojek, Lyft, Uber, etc.)

I vote we ban these too. Takeaways were already disappointments, but adding random couriers (and unpredictable delivery times) tells me some of us haven't learned anything from 13/2/2017.

A.M. - your trusted online marketplace broker & all that BS

Addendum 4 (FINAL!) - 1 June 2017

All ban of online marketplaces confirmed & executed. As for the taxi / food delivery, we have an open debate until 15 August 2017. Place your voice there and let us know.

Your Lord, B.M.